Some people handle floods better than others.
WELCOME! TO MY BLOOOOOOOOOGG!
i need a 1k selfie before i die
U KNOW HE DEAD
My sister texted my dad yesterday asking to go to the mall and he said “i guess so” but today he took it back so she printed the text and this was the result
When there’s too much shit you need to get done at once
imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”GO CHOP SOME LUMBER
"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"
"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."
my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories
this is me, i am pete, love me
we love you pete
if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
Gospels from the mouth of DanRad
"fuck that, I’m Harry Potter"
do you ever say something and then 2 seconds later realize no no nOo nOONONOO I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT
but he was:
So can we talk about the fact that that means there were 3 Rory’s in the world at the same time?
"hey do you wanna get food, i’ll pay"
what a fucking idiot
i want 14 of them
I’m at the grocery store with my grandparents and my grandpa has wandered away and now my grandma is going up every isle yelling his name and im hiding behind a cookie display cuz i dont want anyone to know im with the crazy woman screaming dick at the top of her lungs